03

1. Not that bad.

My heart physically hurts.

I was walking down the hallway of the university I'd dreamt of, all my life.. It felt surreal.

There's this feeling, unsettling yet so exciting inside my chest.

I've worked my ass off to become eligible enough to get the scholarship, for which, by the way, my parents were desperate about.

At present, I could feel the uneasiness creeping inside me.

I could barely bring myself to initiate conversations with people. I just wish things were easier for me and that I didn't have to hesitate to even lock eyes with people.

But it's just hard. After all the friendships I've been in, I don't think there's even an ounce of trust left in me. I was done with everyone. I realised, I'm better off alone.

The only thing I've learnt all my life; to enjoy my own company.

While trying to calm those jitters and ascending the stairs to my floor, I finally came across the class-room. A few students had already occupied some seats.

I thanked God for keeping the last corner seat unreserved. An inaudible sigh left my mouth as I walked further inside.

I'm sure no one would want to sit beside a loner. I'll be fine, alone. No engaging with anyone, absolutely no useless thoughts.

I'm here to study, get the degree, followed by a high paying job, support the finances of my parents and pay them back for everything they've done for me, all these years.

That was all I was here for.

Taking out my novel from the bag, as there was still some time for the class to start, I started reading, maybe to distract myself from the voices in my head.

That's what I do, distract myself from the shits life throws my way.

That's how I cope.

I was completely engrossed in the book or maybe..the thoughts, failing to notice a presence around me.

"Hii, is this seat occupied?" She spoke, pulling me out of my trance.

"No." I replied, bringing my focus back to the book.

"Umm, do you mind if I sit here?" She asked further. Yes. I'd rather be alone. I wanted to say.

"No, I don't mind." I glanced at her for a second.

"Thank you," She passed me a polite smile before her eyes fell over the book in my hands. "Umm, so.. you're a reader?" She sat down before keeping her bag beside the bench and turned to me.

"Yes."

"Oh, great. What's your name, by the way?" She asked.

"Jiya," I closed my book before placing it back into the bag. "How about you?"

"I'm Avni, nice to meet you, Jiya!" She said with a smile so bright it almost made me grin back at her,but my lips curved slightly upward.

"Nice to meet you too, Avni."

As our mini conversation ended, we looked over to the professor entering the class with an enthusiastic demeanor.

Not bad, I guess.

"Good morning sir!"

All the students chirped as they stood up to greet him.

"A very good morning, kids. Sit down," He replied as he gestured for us to settle down.

"Soo..how's the Josh, guys? It's the first day. I hope y'all aren't here to study at least today!" He continued in a tone so gentle, as he walked ahead and leaned on the desk.

"Oh, really sir!? That's so sweet of you." Everyone let out a laugh as one of the students spoke in excitement.

"Ofcourse we're not studying!" Some students muttered.

"Sure," He laughed, "So, let's introduce ourselves?" He spoke before continuing, "I'm Ajay Chauhan, your professor. It's really nice meeting y'all."

As we continued to introduce ourselves right after his introduction ended, I felt the anxiety creeping away.

Our professor seems unexpectedly nice. Things aren't as bad as I had imagined.

I hope it stays this way.

I was kind of expecting her to deny.

Had assumed maybe she'd refuse because she seemed distant, even from afar.

For some reason, I could read through her like an open book, just like the one I'd noticed in her hands.

I thought I'd have to sit alone, but then I saw her.

She looked somewhat like me. A loner. Seated quietly at a corner.

A ray of hope enlightened in me— maybe..just maybe we could get along.

At the moment, our lecture was almost over and so was the first day. The professor was very approachable. It felt.. comfortable, for the first time in a while, I wasn't afraid of being myself.

I was trying to initiate a conversation with Jiya. She was hesitant at first, a little too composed but slowly, she started speaking in bits.

I didn't force her, she didn't ignore me.

I spoke, she listened and smiled, the one that showed no sign of boredom.

"Umm..Avni," I was brought back from my stance as I heard her speak.

"Yeah?" I turned to her.

"Should we head out? The lecture's over." She asked.

"Of course, let's go!" I got up from my seat as she mirrored my actions and we both started walking out of the campus. "How did you come here? Any vehicle?" I asked.

"Nope, booked an auto." She replied.

"Where do you live? If you don't mind me asking." I asked not to intrude too much.

She told me about the area.

"It's like three blocks away from my apartment and I've got my activa with me, I can drop you if you're comfortable." I said.

"Is it....okay for you?" She asked, hesitantly.

"Of course, Jiya. We could go for a stroll, too, if you want. You lead the way, I drive." I joked trying to make the atmosphere a bit comfortable as she laughed ever so slightly.

"Chalo phir. I don't mind." She said, making me raise my eyebrows in question.

(Let's go, then.)

"Chalo? Seriously Dude? We're the same age. Don't make me feel old." I almost pouted.

"Acha, sorry. I mean...," she hesitated but spoke anyway, "Umm.. let's go."

"Don't be so hesitant, yeah?" I managed to let out as if she could get the softness behind my words.

"Umm.. yeah." She smiled.

"Activa vaha par hai, mai lekar aati hu, you wait here." I told her.

(My vehicle's parked over there, I'll bring it over..)

She nodded as I walked towards the corner I'd parked my vehicle at.

‧₊˚ ☁️⋅♡

Hey cutus, the first chapter's finally up, I don't know what to feel about it. It's still settling in, but I think I loved how this started.

Would love to know about your opinions, drop them here:)

Lots of love <3

Do vote and comment:)

Yours, Jazz🤍

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